Well, it's been ages hasn't it? Nobody will ever read this so why I am writing down I will never know but maybe it's my way of releasing. Funny. I seem to have all the linguistic intelligence when I don't have to impress anybody!!
Anyway, my life over the last couple of years. Roller coaster could be a good word. Back in the UK after the forth and final split with the ex wife. Should have seen it coming to be honest but we all try to work things out don't we however sometimes, when that spark has gone it doesn't matter how hard we try to ignite it, it just doesn't light again. It is sad that through the last 3 years turmoil I lost my true love of my life. Didn't know it at the time through my fucked up and confused mind she really was every fantasy and dream I ever had but I am pretty sure that would have turned into a nightmare. Kids that I don't want, house that I probably wouldn't want to live in and that 'fantasy' would too, also have faded over the years. Live and learn don't you.
Facebook is a nemesis and a savior in it's own rights. I have used it since 2007 and it has kept me in touch with the world I left behind. How else could I have found out that Danny had got married, Colin had his first child and the poor, untimely death of my good friend Mark Stanley. However it has a very different opposite side. It can be the ultimate in destruction as all social media can be. Why, just writing this blog is allowing any of the 6.2 billion people in the world to enter into my life but Facebook seems to be the pinnacle of utter destruction. It has got to a point where I hardly use it anymore. Am I scared what people write about me? Do I want to know what people think and when somebody deletes you? Well, that hurts especially if it is somebody you cared about. It's online dumping. As if that is not bad enough in real life? Now we have to let the whole world know that we don't matter to somebody we care about. It has happened to me 3 times in the last year. The last one was expected to painful all the same.
POF or the 'Plenty Of Fish' dating website is a whole different world. I was on there for a while. I met a few girls, one I quite liked turned out to be a complete nutter. Finished with her when she said that she would 'ride her next door neighbor's boyfriend like a horse and make as much noise as possible just to piss her (his girlfriend) off' which, to me wasn't entirely normal. I put my clothes on, kissed her hungover forehead, wished her happy birthday (yep, I always seem to pick the least appropriate of times) and ran out of the door as fast as my legs would carry me. Another girl I met posted a picture of herself taken 10 years ago so that didn't go down well when I met her however I have just recently had my first date with a girl called Bev. We have chatted and get along great to the point of innuendos and sexual flirting She is very petite, great fun to be with and immensely pretty. Plus a girly girl who is a bit dizzy. Perfect for me.
Anyway, I digress. The world of POF is a completely odd world. It seems to be full of, as far as I can see, amazing looking women who go to the gym 24/7, have a great job that they love, a huge circle of friends that they love and ALL go horse riding!!! What's all that about? Horse riding? It started to make me think 'If you are that good looking, you are so popular and could give Chuck Norris a nose bleed then why are you on here?'. I asked a few but sadly, I didn't get to the bottom of it. It's no different bullshit from the men I hear from Bev. Almost all apparently, show pictures of themselves posing on a bed wearing nothing but boxer shorts or draped over their car and they all seem to all like snow boarding!!! Horse riding and snow boarding eh? Maybe I should start a new sport called 'Horse Boarding'? How could anybody resist me? Plus the website suggests that you should write about you're aspirations, music tastes, what you like, what you don't like, first date ideas, shoe size, favorite colour's ect ect. I'm sorry but if I saw a girl in a bar that I liked, walked up to her and said 'Hi. I'm Mark. I am a genuine, fun loving and spontaneous man who likes Alanis Morrisette, snow boarding and horse riding and I am actively seeking a long term relationship. If you like what you see then tweet me' I am pretty sure I would be punched or arrested for being a bit odd. As a footnote on this, if you can avoid then please do. It's not a nice world to be in but rather amusing at times.
Now, my last subject before I get off. Electric cigarettes.
I have been a smoker since I was 17. Yep, I have done the few years off thing, the last one being 5 years which I enjoyed immensely however I drifted back into that addiction once again. We, as disgusting smokers have be punished, abandoned, victimized, taxed and most recently started to be looked at as vermin of the society. We have expensive patches, books, gum and now the E Lite. What a break through. A cigarette that looks, tastes and is everything that a cigarette can offer, so why do I still get the good, old fashioned, nasty smelling old style ones? One answer. Nothing beats it with a beer.
The E-Lite really is an amazing piece of engineering. They have got everything right. The tip lighting. The burn at the back of the throat. The vapor of smoke that is non toxic. Even down to the look of them. So why are they so fucking heavy? I think that is what puts me off the most. I'm no weakling by any means. I am 6 foot tall. I have wide shoulders and good health however I think that these things are not helping at all. I am still addicted to nicotine, I still crave the filthy taste when I have a drink and I am, in affect, still smoking. What ever anybody thinks, the only way off it is 4 days of difficulty, mood snaps and twinges of desperation and I do feel that day is in the post. E-Lite? Thank you for you're co-operation but it's back to the old style quitting for me again.
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