Well it is typical isn't it? Find the apartment of your dream that has 2 bedrooms and bathrooms, is on the top floor so it is quiet and has an amazing view, allowed use of a spa, swimming pool, sauna and gymnasium and is in a secure building comfortably within the budget that has been put aside and then a week later you get made redundant. How many times have we heard this story because that has what has happened to me. I wasn't overly bothered because I was leaving anyway. Worried about the companies financial status and the moral was just so low with little or no communication that it was even bringing me down and I had an interview lined up so no biggie. Got the keys for the apartment on July 26th and a driving examination with the aims of an offer the following day so it was win win. Moved into the apartment and what a day. i love it here. Life couldn't be better. Went to bed at about 11:30 because I had to get up early the next day for the test and slept well. Needed a piss in the middle of the night and being half asleep, I went for the door to the bathroom only this time, there wasn't a door. There was a flight of stairs. All the way down to the bottom I fell, arse over tit finally ending up on the bottom floor with my head bumped against the door, my thumb in agony but the worst thing was both feet and ankles. Absolutely smashed to bits. Now being half asleep I thought I was still at my mums house and all I wanted was for them to help me but as I strarted coming around I realized where I was and nobody was there to help me.
I pulled myself up on to the stairs in utter agony. I couldn't stand up which was worrying. I then dragged myself back up the stairs by my arms around my back one stair at a time, dragging my shattered legs behind me. Made it into the upstairs bathroom and sat down on the toilet, had my pee and then managed to crawl back to bed. I fell asleep pretty quickly again because I think I was in shock and then got up again at 06:30 to get ready for my test even though I knew I was going to be in trouble. She shower was a sat down shower and getting ready took me ages. I found that when I was wearing my work boots they gave my ankles a little support so with aid I could stand but walking was near impossible. 10 minutes it took me to walk to the car and because it was an automatic it would be possible to drive however because it took me so long to get ready, I was 10 minutes late that went down like a wet fart in a Jacuzzi however clearly with my hobbling like an old man it was clear I wouldn't be able to drive anyway. I completed the theory instead and then wobbled back to the car and drove back to the apartment. It took 4 weeks to begin to really start walking again but still with a limp. 6 weeks down the line I am now in full working order but need work now so I am back on the look out. I will keep you informed.
When I was at school there were subjects I excelled at and others I struggled with. This has naturally followed me into my adult life. Maths, physics, technical art and geography I still understand and enjoy. What I wasn't too good at are English, history but by far the worst was languages. I just don't seem to get it!! Take for example the French language. How the hell can some objects be feminine and others male and how do you tell the difference? Is a light bulb 'le' of 'la'? It's confusing and something that my brain just cannot work out so how typical is it that I have to learn the most difficult language of all. 'Is it Welsh?'. "is it Japanese?" I hear you say. No. It's much harder than that. It's Boltonish.
For the last few months I have been talking to a girl. My age group, very pretty, a fantastic body, great personality, fantastic laugh which makes me laugh, quick witted, smart, sexy and just a great girl and for me, ticks all the boxes. One problem? I can't fucking understand her!!!
She is from Bolton, a town less than 30 miles away from me so the distance between us really isn't too much of a problem but the language barrier is. I find myself saying 'You what?' or 'Say that again' dozens of times within any conversation. It astounds me how as we a geographically pretty close but how different our accents are. I'll give you an example. The word 'there' is pronounced just as it is spelt which is what I say so why does she pronounce it 'thur' and it's not just the words are said. If anybody called me 'cock' I'd be insulted. In Bolton it's a term of endearment!!!!! I hear her on the phone saying things like 'have a good night cock' to her kids. Fucking weird I'm telling you. However we do spend a lot of time talking, sometimes hours and so I am slowly learning to translate without thinking. We are supposed to be meeting up soon so lets just hope by the end of the date I will be fluent but somehow I don't see that happening anymore.
This I will definitely keep you up to date.....cock.
